Proclaim to the world that there is no blogging material left! and some will fall into your lap. Lit'rally.
I was driving down my street today, babe in tow, minding my own beeswax, when I noticed the local elementary school had just let out. I glimpsed two sweet and innocent looking 7-10 year old girls walking home, arm in arm- goldilocks hair swaying in the fall breeze. When what to my wandering eye did appear but one of the duo (the chubby one, to be precise) boldly faced my window and flipped me off.
"Now," I thought to myself, "that's not the kind of thing for such a young lass to be doing!" I thought maybe she had given me the old ring-finger trick, the one every kid learns on the school playground along with how- to-make-it-look-like-you-are-disconnecting-your-index-finger trick. I gave her the benefit of doubt, only to look in my rear-view mirror and see her flipping off every single car that drove by and laughing hysterically.
Conflicted, I went with my gut instincts. At the intersection I flipped the car around and drove back toward the little whippersnappers. I figured not all of these people driving by were innocent, blonde curly haired mommies. This girl could get hurt. Not only that, but we have the pride issue. Any of you who know me at all know that once you push certain buttons- I go beyond a point where I can hold my tongue.
I saw her mouth "Oh no!" to her more svelte counterpart as I pulled up to the curb on the wrong side of the road.
Me:Does your mom know you're walking home from school flipping people off?
(What did I expect? "Of course, she just LOOOVVES it when I do this!!"??)
Her: Ohhh, sorry I thought you were someone else.
Me: Well, I just saw you do it to three other cars, so I don't think that's true.
You know, that's a very vulgar expression that means something very dirty.
(redundant, I know) So, if I were you I probably wouldn't do that anymore.
Her: Ok. I'm sorry. (Head tucked, defeated)
I left out the part about how that's just an open invitation for some creep to come and molest her. Figured I did enough damage for one day. It's true. I'm officially a scary grown-up now.
Picture up top is Dave post de-raggamuffization. AKA- big time haircut. I can spike the hair again! It's cute as a baby, but I really hope that he doesn't turn into some punk kid. He better not- or watch out!
6 people are wicked awesome. to Kids these days!:
I love that story. There's nothing that could make you feel like you've finally become a scary adult like the opportunity to tell a kid they're stupid (I would have loved the chance- she sounded a little stupid). :)
not so much stupid as ill-mannered (is that a word?). although what she did was... well.. pretty stupid. as for her intellectual capactiy- i have no comment.
but i forgot the best part. after i closed the door dave goes "bye". like- "sorry my mom's such a jerk. have a good day." hahaa. i laughed heartily.
Barb! I am so proud of you. that is an awesome coming into adulthood story. I wish i was there with you when you did that, but I could totally picture you out there talking to those girls all stern and tall. I did that once to some kids who were throwing rocks at cars when they drove by and one just so happened to hit my car. I pulled over and got out of my car and gave them a piece of my mind in a stern adult like way. Just as I was asking where is your mother? she came out all white trashy and greasy and yanked her kids inside yelling at them, not saying a word to me. Then it became very clear why those kids were outside their house throwing rocks at cars.
sometimes realizing you are an adult just sneaks up on you!!! I hate it when that happens but good for you and way to go!!!!!
I'm so proud you're my friend. I know I wouldn't want you to scold me! And good for you for performing a civic duty. Do you ever watch Dateline where they lure child predators into the house and then bust them? (I love that show!) But it's really sick how many pervs there are out there. You could have saved someone that day!
well, like i said- i wasn't just miss do-gooder. it really kinda peeved me that she flipped me off. not that i was like, irate or anything, you know... but well.. yeah.
i really wasn't typing that to be a braggart or anything. i just thought it was a funny story- and sooo like me to go wag my finger and say something.
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