Sometimes, when you are a woman, you wear stretchy pants in your room. For fun.

If you had happened to come upon me, mistakenly perhaps, this past weekend this is a snipet of what you might have seen (depending on time of day and location). The thought of a new house has given me the furniture bug. Unfortunately I am not rich enough to purchase even a dust bunny at any fancy furniture store, hence the stretchy pants with socks and sandals. So, we are doing the next best thing-> REFINISHING. I usually really like sanding... for about 5 minutes. But it was way to cold this past weekend even for a 5 minute sanding interlude.

I have, however, had Mike chained to a workbench making such things as pictured below. Pretty handy guy, I'd say. This was an old cabinet that my Great Grandpa (Binky's Hubby) made for my dad when he was a young lad. Imagine it in peeling pastel blue paint with wooden knobs and no trim. I was pleasantly surprised (with the cabinet, not with my crooked picture).

Mike had the decency not to wear his stretchy pants in the out of doors, although we all know he was wearing stretchy pants in his heart.
Can you identify the genre of this last picture? Good guess. These are the fruits of my very exciting shopping trip to Target clearance. I was so thrilled after this shopping session that I was shaking. The first step to fighting addiction is admitting it.
Hi. I'm Barb. I'm addicted to Target.

Happy Birthdee to me Hunnee!

We had a fantabulous day for Mike's birthday. Well actually- it was almost fantabulous. Besides the fact that Mom has the flu and we still haven't heard much on the house--> I got out of jury duty and we got to spend some time all together, so that was neat. And stuff. Tomorrow is the day Lady Luck is coming to town, though, I can feel it.

Our realtor was getting a little annoyed with the bank taking their sweet old time, so we went out looking at some other houses on Saturday. Then we went back to 'our' house, just to get another look and we just can't let it go. I don't know what it is about the house... maybe that we already have our hearts set on it... or that it's only a block away from Michael and Jen...........

and Target...

There are still no other offers on the house. So maybe Mike will get a late birthday present tomorrow.

Happy Blog-Month Anniversary

May I begin this post by apologizing for my blog laziness. This month marks the 1 year anniversary of my blog obsession, although lately it seems more like a task I can't really get to. Part of that may be due to the fact that I was just released from prison (AKA the hospital) after a six day torture session. They gave me the old Chinese Coughing Torture, as it seems every adult human being (and a few kids) in this area has either bronchitis or the flu. You'd be surprised how dramatic some of these coughing fits can get, complete with loss of bodily control and flopping on the floor. Our society is truly a sight to behold. Sound bitter, do I?

On a lighter note- the proceeds of my six day torture treatment will go to a good cause. Many of you already know that we....

No. I'm not pregnant.

We put on offer on a house some time ago. We still haven't heard 'yea' or 'nay' but we are keeping our fingers crossed. The house was foreclosed on the previous owner who thought dog urine would make a good carpet deodorizer. I'm not big on that scent, so if we get the house we will be ripping out the carpet and floors and putting down wood and tile. It will be a big job, but sort of exciting since we were thinking of building at some point, anyway.

I will brag more about the house after we find out if it's ours or not, but at this point, suffice it to say that the suspense is killing us (or at least me). And we won't be getting a dog.

Future's so bright...

He's gotta wear shades. (He'll finally wear them now, hoorah!)

Thank You Puxatony Phil

The weather was so nice that we washed the cars this afternoon. Dave helped.

Haiku regarding the sacking of my 2007 New Year's resolutions

I enjoy eating
Cheap Valentine Day Candy
For every meal

Happy Vee day!

My favorite V-day poem!

92
i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)
- e. e. cummings

Some more pictures of "Trouble".

Who is, incidentally, no trouble- and loves whipped cream.

Wordless Wednesday: Attempt #2

TCU 72, BYU 85, My Shin -33.

The cougs may have won their game against TCU , but my shin lost big time. I was scaling the purple horned frog seats trying to watch the game and the seats fought back. I think they were secretly mocking me and my blue knee length socks. My right fibula and tibia were nearly severed and my left shin is severely contused. I kept thinking a toy was lodged under it during nursery today, but really it was just a huge hematoma and bone spur (so, I'm over exaggerating...) right under my knee.

On the other hand- I did run into some luck when Andi spotted one of our freshman year friends from Hinckley Hall. Some of you might recognize this familiar Kansas native who is now living in Dallas!































But the best thing of all was the spanking BYU gave TCU (not that it was unexpected) and the Chili's molten chocolate lava cake that was eaten in celebration after the game. Take that Horney Toads (you know I love most of you, though).

I'm an uncle!

Here are the pictures of the little prince. The little family arrived safely home last evening, and Bobby boo has already had his share of Hollywood like fame. The Auntie Babs papparazzi was there in full force. It's pretty hard to sleep with those lights flashing in your face, huh little guy? Well, get used to it, cause you're a star!

Achtung, Baby!

Jen's belly doesn't look like a ball anymore. It is merely the deflated remains of one, Mr. Bobby Boo's gestational home. The beautiful young lad was born yester eve, approximately
8 o' th'clock. I was something in the vicinity of 3 minutes late to the birth, because lil' Bob didn't want to wait for me to find a spot in the parking garage. (Selfish little guy, but don't tell his mom). I realize it's a little shocking that I don't have pictures yet, but seeing how I left work in a mad dash to try and make it to the hospital , I'm certain that you'll excuse me. He is a cute little guy though, in a very calm- no muss- no fuss boy kind of way. (I'm not sure what that means, but it sounded good and complimentary, I hope). Pictures to come soon!

Jen's tips for easy labor: Forget castor oil- just invite some people over and barbeque hamburgers for them the day before you want to have the baby. Also jumping on a trampoline really does help...

Tasty!

I received this in the mail yesterday, in what was, perhaps, a desperate attempt to entice me to post. Thank you Bone Junior, for brightening my life with your whimsical ways.

Congratulations "The Rules"

Dear The Rules,

It's no AED machine, but I hope it will suffice. I have your prize (from the ACLS question contest), and you may be excited to know that you will be one of the first to wear my latest (soon to be) ebay offering. This handcrafted leather bracelet is modeled after my Florentine bracelet that was laid to rest in the Mimi's, Sandy Southtown parking lot. By receiving this bracelet you will also be receiving a piece of my heart. It is made of genuine Tandy scrap cowhide, and snaps together with the most fashionable snaps available from Michael's MJDesigns. Now tell me I'm not good to you. By the way- (ahem) your address, please?

Love, Barb (leather tanner and hand model extraordinaire)

Where's the 'stache?

Mike shaved off his beard yesterday. What do ya think?

Not unlike a Grandma

I think our bathroom is cursed. Here's why:

1. My sister in law, Jen, is great with child. Thus I felt the need to help her out the other day by giving my neice a bath with Dave. I remember what it was like scrubbing out the bath tub with a bowling ball in my belly- and I can't imagine scrubbing down a slippery 2 year old would be much prettier. The only problem is, when the two kids bathe together the floor tends to become a little, shall we say, slickery (for obvious reasons). I was hosing the kids off, just getting ready to get them out, when all of a sudden I slipped. Not unlike a grandma. I landed only on my left knee cap, which shattered into a million peices inside and cried (the knee cap) like a little girl. The beauty part is that while my body came crashing down on my one knee cap I somehow managed to spray myself in the face with the shower head. My bangs were hanging down in drippy strings in front of my face and my left eye looked not unlike Alice Cooper. Cute.

2. Three nights later, I was preparing Dave for his bath. There was some type of explosion in his diaper so I took it off, cleaned him and told him to "Run like a maniac" to the bathroom. He ran off yelling "iac, iac, iac!". I scrambled to grab his towel and meet him in the bathroom. Just as I opened the door to the bathroom I heard his little body slip and saw him face plant onto the ground. I reached down to pick him up and stepped in something yellow and warm (which, I assume is what he slipped in). As he bawled I noticed some warm red stuff smeared on my shirt and smudged on my jeans. Luckily I have seen my share of blood, or I might have passed out because his mouth was full of blood. I tried to hold pressure, and by that I mean just soak up the blood so I could see what was actually bleeding. Lo and behold the poor little guy had bitten through the back of his lip and up through the top. Thankfully the bleeding stopped quickly and the lip appears to be healing well. And no, I am not the kind of sadistic mother that would take a picture of the injured lip to put on my blog. I don't care what you say about that video of Dave rolling down stairs. Or the picture of his bruised noggin.

I hope none of you were eating.

Wordless Wednesday (givin' it the old college try).

Speaking of Prizes.

I forgot to thank a certain someone for sending me these cute little books around Christmas time. So thanks Ernie Eichniebergnie! Now I can figure out why I dreamed last night about helping Andi and her mom deliver babies in white wedding gowns- with the assistance of an Asian man in a skirt, while I'm performing massage therapy on that kink in Mike's back.

260 joules, anyone?

4. Which of the following rhythms is most commonly present in the first minute following onset of cardiac arrest in adults? A. asystole B. Mobitz II block C. normal sinus rhythm with multiformed premature ventricular complexes D. ventricular fibrillation The first one who can answer the question correctly will win a prize from yours truly (provided I have your address). Each of you who subsequently answer the question correctly will be able to take my place at ACLS recertification 'mind meld' class held two years from this date. Lucky yous.

Is that a goose egg on your head or are you just happy to see me?

I was surprised this week when we had an unexpected (albeit) inch of snow! I was working, looked out the window and noticed fluffy white stuff falling from the sky. It was enough to lead to an impromptu snowball fight with the ER doc before our shift was over- which is really saying something for Texas. Dave was excited to play in it after I got home. I had to go inside after a few minutes though, because my feet were freezing. I guess I've gotten soft. This was probably the most actual frozen precipitation I've ever seen in Texas, and undoubtedly the most snow. Maybe now you all understand why (at one point) I didn't realize that snow would make you wet when you played in it. It also might explain why I wore leather shoes and jeans on my first sledding excursion at Snowbird with Andi. My pre-BYU world travels only went as far west as Abilene TX, and as far east as Baton Rouge LA. It's not just because I'm blonde, folks. melted/ refrozen snow + plastic sleds and tire inner tubes = not a good combo.

Binky [is old].

I had to dedicate a blog post to my great granny Binky, who turned 100 years old this month. There was a huge party at my parent's house, which was a little weird. The house was full of probably (at one point) 100 people, 75 of which I didn't know. Binky had a fun time, but I think she was a little worn out after it was all over.


















For some reason it looks like the cake has a 1,000 candle on it- rather than 100. Is it a premonition? I hope not, for her sake.












Uncle Rusty. Cute, huh?












I don't know who these guy are, but they look pretty awesome anyway- so I took a picture.












Cousin John, Michael and me! Cheeeeeeeeeze!












I didn't know 100 year olds did extreme close ups. Binky is a pretty confident lady, though.












Along with lots of people, there were about a billion balloons of the ceiling, which was fun.













Cousin Brant- who used to swing me by the arms when I was six. That was probably about the last time I saw him, too. He didn't try to swing me by the arms this time.













Binky and her sister, Louise.












Aunts Jackie and Paula. We had to try this shot again with the bunny ears behind the head.












To the chagrin of fish and fowl everywhere- someone had the grand idea to release all of the balloons into the sky when the party was over. Let it be known that I took no part in the slaughter of innocent beings. I was only the photographer.












And by some miraculous intervention the balloons became tangled in the neighbors tree. Sorry Joe and Silvia. It was for the greater good.

I hate this so much...

THings didn't go so well for me either.

Dave learns a new trick.

Learning new things can be fun, but not without mishaps.